You know that place where you’ve made some positive changes in your life but your thoughts haven’t caught up yet? When your actions are improving but your thoughts are still negative?
I call that the frustration gap.
No matter how many positive thoughts we think – if the underlying subconscious beliefs driving those thoughts remains that same, so do we.
We’ve been conditioned to procrastinate, to have fear, to doubt, to wonder if we’re worthy. All of these unconscious beliefs are going on in the background of our minds and, without our awareness, they’re impacting our actions and thoughts.
No matter how much we want it, no matter how many books we read, no matter how many seminars we attend, unless we meet those behaviors and those beliefs where they were made, they will never change.
I put it this way, attempting to change a subconscious belief through conscious actions it’s like trying to clean the bottom of the ocean by vacuuming inside your living room. It’s never going to happen. You can vacuum and vacuum and vacuum until the floorboards have been worn thin and you’ll still never clean the depths of the oceans.
So let’s do a simple exercise that can help you to start taking control of your thoughts TODAY.
The first thing we’ll do is relax. Take a nice deep letting-go breath and relax every single muscle in your body from your head all the way down to your toes.
Take five slow, deep breaths and relax deeper with every breath. In fact, with every exhalation think the word “relax” to yourself as you gently empty your lungs of every single drop of air.
You’re doing great…
Next, I’m going to write a few words down in a list and, without judgement, I’d like you to pause on every word and watch your thoughts arrive. Notice which thoughts are positive, which thoughts are negative and which thoughts are neutral. Just observe them as if you’re viewing them on a chalkboard.
Become aware now of all the thoughts that come to your mind when you read the phrase “your mother”. Notice the positive words, notice the negative words, notice the neutral words… as if they are separate from you, as if they are appearing on a chalk board.
Great work, let’s keep going with more trigger words and phrases…
Your closest friend.
A friend you’ve had challenges with.
An ex-partner or spouse.
Your bank account.
Now, picture your chalkboard again. On it, imagine writing the core issue of your life (perhaps it’s weight loss, finding a job, finding love, whatever the #1 challenge in your life is right now) view the core issue of your life and all of the words popping up to surround it.
Become aware of all the words, positive and negative associated with your core issue,
Now what you’re going to do is take a step back away from that chalkboard where all of those words are located and you’re going to pick up an eraser.
Take a nice deep letting-go breath and just notice if any of those words on the board surprise you… wouldn’t it be a relief to know that you could replace those negative words?
Take your time and notice how you feel as you thoroughly erase those negative words.
Picturing all of the words on the chalkboard, erase all of the negative ones – all of the words with negative frequency. Imagine picking up your eraser and erasing all of the words that no longer serve you. Feeling relief as you do so… And taking a moment now to replace those negative words with positive words.
Once you’ve done that, now that you’re already feeling lighter and more free, replace them with really positive words. More than neutral, words with a positive charge will allow you to move forward towards the life of your greatest desires.
Take three deep breaths, relaxing more with each one.
The truth is, every day in every way you are already becoming better at taking responsibility for your thoughts.
Every day in every way, you are becoming better and better at taking responsibility for your actions.
Because of this, you’re going to be able to close the frustration gap… in fact, you’re already doing it.
Excellent, excellent work.